~depress~

this is my first time crying in here kampar, after 3 months....i din cry because i'm homesick or because results, but because i felt abandon................. i feel that im not important to anyone of them, im useless........... its not the first time that im been left alone..... if i wants to be left alone i will say so ok?????
juz now saw some pics.......i cant write on anymore..... i keep on trying to keep calm but whenever i think about the happennings of today, i feel like crying again....... i know that im too insenstive at normal times, that i dun care bout anything....... but how do u feel that ur really left alone and noone's remember bout u at all......
normally if i dun want to go somewhere i WILL reply ok?????????? u guyz sent a message but i wasnt there to recieve it PLS call me ok????????? dinner, how do u know that i wil go with someone else?????? i think they knows that im crying now... or maybe they don't........i can hear laughters........ tears welling in my eyes.... my eyes are red now....... T_T
more than 5 ppl know that im goin but when i met them oni 1 of them says sorry that her phone was off in the morning..... i know that... but don't u think that how bout other ppl phones????????? even my housemate doesn't call me in the morning or atleast send a sms telling me that she's goin out......... puhlezz..... we juz live next room......... they are laughing now..... so lound........ i fell like oni killing myself they wil oni see me, or juz realized that im there....... want to cry and vomit ................
T_TT_TT_TT_TT_TT_TT_TT_TT_TT_TT_TT_TT_TT_TT_TT_TT_TT_TT_TT_TT_TT_TT_TT_TT_TT_TT_TT_TT_T